“A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.”
Today proved to be an interesting day. My family and I were meeting up with another couple and their little one to go to the apple orchard. This was our second annual trip to the orchard. It was a great day – lots of sun, great company, and tons of apples! What could go wrong? Little did I know this day would prove to be an “awakening” of sorts. I didn’t realize how out of sync I truly was.
The day started with preparation for our day at the orchard. My husband, Carl, and I like to bring food from home for our son, Carson, as we normally cook majority of his food.
We noticed we didn’t have enough food to make a proper meal. Carl, being the generous man that he is, volunteered to go to the store. He asked me what I wanted from the store. I quickly rattled off a few things to get for Carson.
While he was at the store, I decided to cleanup from breakfast and prepare the diaper bag. I have this thing about keeping the house straightened up. Now, you may think that is crazy considering we have a toddler, but I like to do little cleanups along the way rather than a full fledged cleaning overhaul. Thank you Ma and Daddy!
Carl gets back and starts making Carson’s food for the day. Carson is one lucky kid. He gets freshly prepared meals everyday. Oftentimes, the meals contain organic ingredients with minimal sugar. Now if only he ate the meals…I digress.
Since we had a set time to meet our friends, we are now rushing quite a bit. I was so concerned about making sure Carson had food, I forgot to grab breakfast for myself. At the last minute, I put a couple of handfuls of dry roasted almonds in a bag before heading out the door.
After the hour-long drive, we made it to the orchard. After walking around to collect apples, stopping to talk and, and visiting the petting zoo, we made our way back to the market. At this point, I was both hungry and thirsty. Right about now, I wished I had asked Carl to pick me up something to eat from the store. But, it’s a little too late at this point.
We finally made our way to the market. This was our pit stop to rest, buy something apple related, and (yes Lord!) grab a bite to eat. Unfortunately, they served things I’m trying to avoid – chicken tenders, fries, etc. I had a decision to make – should I get something now or wait until later? The problem with waiting was that we still had to go to the other side to get more apples. Our first run only resulted in a few apples. Plus, we still had an hour-long ride to get back to our side of town. So, what do I do? I decided to get a snack bag of potato chips. This wasn’t what I would consider healthy, but it was the best of what was available. Now, of course I could have had an apple, but my inner germaphobe would not let me eat an apple without washing it off first. So after purchasing the chips and a bottle of water, I felt quite proud of myself. Well not really. But, I was thankful to get something in my stomach.
When Carl sees me munching chips, he lets me have it. There was total disappointment and disdain in his voice when he tells me that it’s not right for me to be eating chips when I’m supposed to be taking steps to live a healthier lifestyle. He tells me I should have planned better. When he offered to get something from the store, I should have requested something for myself.
So after his tirade, I no longer felt satisfied with my purchase. Not only did he talk loud enough for our friends to hear, but also he was right. Instead of focusing on straightening up the house, I could have taken the time to fix myself to eat. Was it really all that important to pick up Carson’s toys for the 50th time in a day? Probably not.
This whole experience got me thinking. It’s time that I stop putting everyone and everything else before me. It doesn’t do any good for me to go without so I can provide for everyone else. I used to feel like it was selfish to put myself before others. However, I now realize, it’s important to take care of me. It’s not selfish to make sure I get enough to eat or sleep. I consider myself to be the nucleus of our family. If I don’t take care of me, who is going to take care of all the things that I do?
This really is not a far-fetched idea. When you fly on a plane, what is in the safety presentation? They tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else. It’s time for me to put on my own mask. Living my life for me is not so terrible. In honor of this awakening, I think I’ll leave the last few dishes in the sink for tomorrow.
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