“It’s not difficult to take care of a child; it’s difficult to do anything else while taking care of a child.”
-Julianne Moore
As a two working parent household, my husband and I have definitely done our share of trial and error to figure out how to work and parent the kids at the same time during this pandemic. Parenting was already tough, but parenting through a pandemic takes things to a whole other level. While it’s important to stay well during these uncertain times, being a working parent with two small children, has really tested our patience.
Now, that we are 4 months in, we’ve figured out a way to take care of the kids, complete our work, and maintain the household. It took some time, but we’ve implemented a parenting shift system. Here is a quick summary of how we got here.
Trial & Error
At first, we tried alternating who got up to get the kids breakfast. However, as we got off of our regular sleep schedule, we found both of us claiming, ‘Not it!” most mornings. Even though the kids were not going into school, they were still getting up at their same time (or earlier) each day.
From there, we tried to schedule Zoom meetings opposite from each other so one of us would be available to tend to stay on top of their lessons, and the ongoing snack and entertainment requests. Increasing job demands that lead to back to back calls made it really difficult to avoid our calls. Pretty soon, we found ourselves on the phone at the same time trying to keep the kids educated, fed, and entertained. Clearly juggling snack requests and video calls did not mix.
So, what we landed on is to take shifts. On the days where I have a light call volume or limited work assignments, it’s my turn with the kids to complete their workbooks, play a game, watch a TV program, etc. When it’s time for me to get back to work, it’s my husband’s turn. Depending on the day, our shifts may be an hour or four hours.
On & Off
Although we call these our “on” and “off” shifts, it’s mainly to describe being on or off kid duty. While one of us is “off” we may be doing work assignments or doing household activities like loading the dishwasher, starting a load of laundry, or fixing dinner. Making this distinction helps us make sure we both get quality time with the kids each day. My husband and I each decide how we spend our “on” time while on kid duty. The kids have really challenged us to find new and exciting ways to keep them entertained. We’ve had to tap into our creative sides for sure!
Parenting Breaks
So while this shift parenting idea has helped us with the work and home life juggle, we found that it could still lead to burnout. During those times where the juggle is too much, we call a break. This is where one of us says, “I need a break.” This means I need a break from work and from parenting. This is our time for our own self-care. For me, this may be fitting in a workout or going for a walk. Or it may mean enjoying 15 minutes of solitude.
Although it’s tempting to want to just call a break, there are some parameters with taking a break. When taking a break it’s important to define a timeframe or duration. While we don’t set a cap, we make sure we communicate how long of a break we need. This helps set expectations and the countdown!
Balancing work and our household definitely has taken a toll on us. However, with our shift parenting, we have found a system that works for us.
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